Time for a little "dirty laundry". Well, not really.
With all the stories out about cabinet appointees "forgetting" to pay taxes owed to the IRS, I thought might offer a contrast from my own culture.
Growing up, we heard horror stories about the IRS. And a lot of them were true. That the IRS would take your house, your car, seize your bank accounts and the sell the family pet if you failed to pay your taxes. Well, maybe they didn't put Fluffy up on the auction block but the rest they would do. Without mercy.
Early life lesson: In America, pay your taxes otherwise the IRS will destroy you.
So I am enjoying the hypocrisy on display at the moment about a mere $146,000 being owed to the IRS and the IRS not sending agents to collect in person and ask your neighbors where you are. But if it had been you or me owing the IRS that sum, I suspect they wouldn't be being kind or easygoing about the whole thing. We may not be in prison but we might as well be when our ATM statement reads a balance of $0.00 and calls to your bank end with the agent telling you the IRS has garnished every last penny of your income until the year 2025.
There are two government agencies you never fuck with in this country. One is the USCIS (formerly INS). That only applies to me. The other is the IRS. Unlike everyone else, the IRS sending me a notice of their intent to audit me wouldn't frighten me as much as a letter from the INS reviewing my status. I suspect your average citizen would find the reverse to be true.
But that leads to my cultural divide. In this country, I file my tax returns and go to great lengths to ensure I don't owe the government more than a token amount of money. A withholdings screwup (not mine) a few years ago left me with a $5000 tax bill and I swore that it would never happen again. And it hasn't. To the point I am making substantial annual interest-free loans to the Federal and State government if this year's tax returns are any indication.
But if I did owe the IRS money. you'd bet I'd be doing everything in my power to keep them happy and away from me. Most people would probably agree with me. Writing checks, begging for mercy. Anything but the wrath of the IRS on your doorstep.
Contrast this to Canada.
In 1996, I was a poor, just-out-of-college programmer making around $21K a year. Not poverty but working-class wages. It was my first job. So imagine my surprise in 1997 when I owed them nearly $3000. Of course, making barely living wages I couldn't pay them and Revenue Canada had this policy at the time that if you couldn't pay the whole amount, wait until you could.
So I did. And moved to the USA a year later. And for years have had this debt hanging over me. Now, understand this is not tax evasion since I did file a return. Problem was Revenue Canada could never quite get their act together to send me the necessary information so I could pay it off. Apparently Canadians living in the USA confused them for years.
Eight years of confusion in my case. By which point interest had tacked a bit more onto the bill and I made arrangements to start paying it off. And did so in 2004. Life being what it is, the amounts varied but little by little, I worked it down.
Finally in 2007, they started sending statements to my house. So I started sending them quarterly payments. Now, they didn't say I could do this but I did, they cashed the checks and sent me a new statement. Upon which I sent them another payment. Hey, it worked for me! Do-it-yourself payment plan. I have a policy of not sending the government anything unless it is in response to correspondance they send me first. Mainly to cover my ass.
So here I am 12 years later. In December, I sent them a check that brought the amount down considerably. So I've been waiting for the little brown envelope to arrive from Canada with the current balance owing so I can write them one final check. Usually the statement would follow a few weeks after the check is cashed. It hasn't shown up.
So I did what anyone in this country would probably consider insane: I called Revenue Canada to ask how much I owed. The very nice lady gave me the amount and asked if I would her to send me a statement. I said "Yes, please". She said it would be here in a couple weeks and was there anything else she could help me with? Nope. It ended with "Thanks for calling the Canada Revenue Agency, have a nice evening.".
Any creative writers care to imagine the substance of that conversation had it been the IRS on the other end of the phone with a 12 year old tax debt?
Us Canadians, we're really easygoing and laid back. Even when it comes to taxes. From stories from back in my hometown, unless you are a business or an individual owing Revenue Canada a metric fuckton of money, they don't care enough to come after you. Let the interest pile on and eventually they'll call you or send a letter asking how to you plan to pay. And even then they're pleasant.
So I'm not complaining and finally my last burden to my home country will be discharged. But I'll bet a lot of you wished the IRS acted like the CRA in Canada. Maybe we wouldn't complain so much about taxes if they did.
I'm going to miss that type of thing when I naturalize.
Taxes, have to love and hate them.
With all the stories out about cabinet appointees "forgetting" to pay taxes owed to the IRS, I thought might offer a contrast from my own culture.
Growing up, we heard horror stories about the IRS. And a lot of them were true. That the IRS would take your house, your car, seize your bank accounts and the sell the family pet if you failed to pay your taxes. Well, maybe they didn't put Fluffy up on the auction block but the rest they would do. Without mercy.
Early life lesson: In America, pay your taxes otherwise the IRS will destroy you.
So I am enjoying the hypocrisy on display at the moment about a mere $146,000 being owed to the IRS and the IRS not sending agents to collect in person and ask your neighbors where you are. But if it had been you or me owing the IRS that sum, I suspect they wouldn't be being kind or easygoing about the whole thing. We may not be in prison but we might as well be when our ATM statement reads a balance of $0.00 and calls to your bank end with the agent telling you the IRS has garnished every last penny of your income until the year 2025.
There are two government agencies you never fuck with in this country. One is the USCIS (formerly INS). That only applies to me. The other is the IRS. Unlike everyone else, the IRS sending me a notice of their intent to audit me wouldn't frighten me as much as a letter from the INS reviewing my status. I suspect your average citizen would find the reverse to be true.
But that leads to my cultural divide. In this country, I file my tax returns and go to great lengths to ensure I don't owe the government more than a token amount of money. A withholdings screwup (not mine) a few years ago left me with a $5000 tax bill and I swore that it would never happen again. And it hasn't. To the point I am making substantial annual interest-free loans to the Federal and State government if this year's tax returns are any indication.
But if I did owe the IRS money. you'd bet I'd be doing everything in my power to keep them happy and away from me. Most people would probably agree with me. Writing checks, begging for mercy. Anything but the wrath of the IRS on your doorstep.
Contrast this to Canada.
In 1996, I was a poor, just-out-of-college programmer making around $21K a year. Not poverty but working-class wages. It was my first job. So imagine my surprise in 1997 when I owed them nearly $3000. Of course, making barely living wages I couldn't pay them and Revenue Canada had this policy at the time that if you couldn't pay the whole amount, wait until you could.
So I did. And moved to the USA a year later. And for years have had this debt hanging over me. Now, understand this is not tax evasion since I did file a return. Problem was Revenue Canada could never quite get their act together to send me the necessary information so I could pay it off. Apparently Canadians living in the USA confused them for years.
Eight years of confusion in my case. By which point interest had tacked a bit more onto the bill and I made arrangements to start paying it off. And did so in 2004. Life being what it is, the amounts varied but little by little, I worked it down.
Finally in 2007, they started sending statements to my house. So I started sending them quarterly payments. Now, they didn't say I could do this but I did, they cashed the checks and sent me a new statement. Upon which I sent them another payment. Hey, it worked for me! Do-it-yourself payment plan. I have a policy of not sending the government anything unless it is in response to correspondance they send me first. Mainly to cover my ass.
So here I am 12 years later. In December, I sent them a check that brought the amount down considerably. So I've been waiting for the little brown envelope to arrive from Canada with the current balance owing so I can write them one final check. Usually the statement would follow a few weeks after the check is cashed. It hasn't shown up.
So I did what anyone in this country would probably consider insane: I called Revenue Canada to ask how much I owed. The very nice lady gave me the amount and asked if I would her to send me a statement. I said "Yes, please". She said it would be here in a couple weeks and was there anything else she could help me with? Nope. It ended with "Thanks for calling the Canada Revenue Agency, have a nice evening.".
Any creative writers care to imagine the substance of that conversation had it been the IRS on the other end of the phone with a 12 year old tax debt?
Us Canadians, we're really easygoing and laid back. Even when it comes to taxes. From stories from back in my hometown, unless you are a business or an individual owing Revenue Canada a metric fuckton of money, they don't care enough to come after you. Let the interest pile on and eventually they'll call you or send a letter asking how to you plan to pay. And even then they're pleasant.
So I'm not complaining and finally my last burden to my home country will be discharged. But I'll bet a lot of you wished the IRS acted like the CRA in Canada. Maybe we wouldn't complain so much about taxes if they did.
I'm going to miss that type of thing when I naturalize.
Taxes, have to love and hate them.
1 comments:
Every Canadian I've met has been chill and easy going (and I've met plenty)
In fact I don't think I've ever met a Canadian who was an asshole.
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